I agree,but I certainly have the tendency to try and make a point which btw never gets made even if i make it..some things are better left untouched..but i poke and prod the wound ..IDIOT ME.

jhnmyr:

Having a point to make doesn’t always mean having to make the point.

ONE CORRECTION FROM MY SIDE..i DON’T DRINK AND i DON’T GO OUT ON WEEKENDS TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITHOUT GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FACE..HMMM..BUT MOSTLY..ditto for the rest of this essay.

I wish that when I was younger I could have met my current self. We would have sat down at a coffee shop so that I could explain life to young me in terms that only we would understand. It would have saved me a lot of hardship.

You can listen to all the sage wisdom you want, but things only make sense when you can explain them to yourself in your own words. For instance, I’ve been told for three years that Breaking Bad is the best show on television, but only after I watched it was I able to tell myself exactly why everyone was right. Other truths I know now that I can explain them: that I’m not missing any crucial information and that poker really isn’t all that fun; that heartbreaks do fade but they take about a year longer than you expect and by the time they do you really don’t care about it enough to notice; and above all else, life is simpler than you think.

I used to think that life was an intricate series of levers and pulleys, buttons and switches, Mexican standoffs and hostage negotiations. As I get older I realize that life is more Netherlands minimalist than Jackson Pollock. The problems don’t get fewer, and in fact they grow in number, but the way I index them in the database is different. More problems get filed under fewer category headers.

Things are getting simpler, and it’s making life better. Here’s the cheat sheet:

People want to be liked. We all crave attention and affection and we all reject shame. When we get embarrassed we send a thug version of ourselves to the forefront to do our fighting for us. We’re at the top of the food chain just under fear.  We don’t want to be in a relationship to hear the words “I love you,” we want to be in a relationship to say the words “I love you.” We want to feel needed, and exceptional and we hate feeling insignificant. We want to ace a hearing test. We are binary creatures; if we’re the plaintiff, we want to win every dollar. If we’re the defendant, we want guard every penny. We want to make more money than last year. We don’t want to get cancer or die in our cars and we want the same for our loved ones. We go out on weekends to try and have sex while trying not to get punched in the face. We drink so we can be ourselves and not mind it so much. We’re desperate to be understood. We want to know someone else has felt it, too. We hate being judged unfairly. We want to make the person we heard wasn’t all that into us change their minds and admit they had us wrong. We want sunny skies with a chance of killer tornadoes, just to keep music sounding good. We take hours upon hours to admit to self consciousness. We don’t know exactly how to pleasure each other. We just want love. In any and every form.

See? It’s simple. :)

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

               — B. Shaw

I don’t like crawler bots ,especially when they crawl my site each day while masquerading as search engines.creepy crawlies

jhnmyr:

Sweet Child O’ Mine (Swing Version) by plamere

Just sent this note to ….

Not asking but just SEEKING to nestle my head on your shoulder and curl up to you and then discuss some  innovative SURGICAL PROCEDURES I dream of performing on my patients one day.I want to be held and told by you that I AM NOT A FOOL  for always dreaming BIG and dreaming DIFFERENT.
While you say this and listen to what i say, If you throw in some RESPECTFUL SPOONING, I won’t really mind.HUGS.

Hmmmmm.

I posted this on Clayton’s blog.Figured, why not post this as a separate blog entry.

In 2007 I went alone and watched this PHOTO EXHIBIT by NAN GOLDIN at the Museum.They had arranged a slideshow of her photographs too. I sat there and watched the slideshow for half hour..and the music they chose to accompany the slide show was opera music ..I wanted to sit down and watch some more of the slideshow, but I was half worried that it was near closing time at the museum and also, it was raining real hard and I had to take the train  back home.

That memory rings in my head still..Some memory of trepidation and discomfort while I watched those photographs.

Too harsh..pain evoking in one way, those photographs.

 PHOTOGRAPHS THAT A PAINTER TAKES ARE different from the photographs a non painter might take of the same scene.

I paint and I take photographs too..:)) And I agree with clayton when he says how a painter wants everything in focus while he photographs.

Heya Clayton,

                   Tight hugs and a thousand kisses.

Now that you are sharing a story about a photo exhibit.I thought I must share one such similar story  of mine too

In 2007 I went alone and watched this PHOTO EXHIBIT by NAN GOLDIN at the Museum.They had arranged a slideshow of her photographs too. I sat there and watched the slideshow for half hour..and the music they chose to accompany the slide show was opera music ..I wanted to sit down and watch some more of the slideshow, but I was half worried that it was near closing time at the museum and also, it was raining real hard and i had to take the train  back home.

That memory rings in my head still..Some memory of trepidation and discomfort while I watched those photographs.

Too harsh..pain evoking in one way, those photographs.

BTW.YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT HOW PHOTOGRAPHS THAT A PAINTER TAKES ARE different from the photographs a non painter might take of the same scene.

I paint and I take photographs too..:)) I get what you are trying to get at .

jhnmyr:

I just came back from seeing an amazing exhibit by the photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson at the Musem of Modern Art. I was lucky enough to get to accompany a few of my friends at Leica Camera and have a walk-through during closed hours.

The one thing that struck me after seeing hundreds of his photos is that not a single one of them features a shallow depth of field. With faster lenses being made, it’s easier than ever to feature the subject of the shot in focus while leaving everything behind it a blur, and while it’s immediately satisfying to look at, it definitely lacks impact from a storytelling perspective. I’m guilty of taking pictures that way, and I think I’m going to try moving away from it. (Interesting that Cartier-Bresson was also a painter, which would explain why every detail in the photo was in focus - you can’t paint a blurred background.)

this post may come off a bit highfalutin, but if you’re a fan of photography you should definitely check this exhibit out.

carlmayer:

I don’t care if you’re changing your clothes for bed, making a late-night snack, about to fuck, studying for a test or getting ready for the night shift at work.  

This is what you should be listening to right now.  

A lot of people do a lot of things for the sake of APPEARANCES..

They try real hard to APPEAR to be Happy for the neighbors,for relatives,for friends, for people at work

They are really miserable, they are not happy, they are depressed and their relationship sucks.

Yet, they will keep talking about what they bought recently,where they recently went for a holiday and how much their spouse loves them and How happy they are!!!

What is the psyche behind PRETENDING TO BE HAPPY while you are in reality NOT REALLY HAPPY ?

Such people often live amongst enemies.People around them are waiting for an opportunity to tear them down.

Hence this insecurity and hence this extra caution to not come across as a target for abuse.

Many abusers often look for sad  lonely targets.

Therefore, these pretenders are only looking to save themselves from the lurking abusers by pretending to be a happy person and thus not come across as a target for further abuse.

On the whole, this situation of having to actually live amongst vultures and sharks and abusers  is VERY SAD to begin with.

This constant DEFENSIVE MODE where you feel the need to constantly PRETEND to everyone that everything is okay with you says HOW ALONE YOU ARE AMIDST A CROWD OF PEOPLE WHOM YOU DON’T REALLY TRUST ENOUGH TO OPEN UP TO AND ADMIT YOU ARE UNHAPPY ON SOME LEVEL.

Think about it!

I sent this note to someone 5 min ago..

Semi-profound words,

Thought I must share it on the main page

This is what I wrote to him

Not asking ,but just telling»»

You are a smart man..and a cutely genuine one at that.

Things take time to fall in place.

Your situations are unique to your life.

Do not compare your milestones and your situations with someone else.

You will get what you deserve in the due time that it needs to happen at.

So,Don’t worry,Be happy!

I remember having sent such a similar message to someone else sometime in November last year.That person definitely benefited from all my insightful advice.But, sadly, that person actually Threw me under the bus very recently in a very selfish attempt to save his own ass.

Yet, here I am, doling out “timely” “insightful” advice to yet another person.

Why?

Coz, I derive some strange comfort in REACHING OUT TO PEOPLE and give them advice that works wonders for them.I hardly care what these peeps do to me in return.I am far too self sufficient to actually need for them to give me something in return.So,yeah,whatever

Not that I am going to refuse something you would give back to me.Only request is, DON’T THROW ME UNDER THE BUS..LOL

As you can see

my tumblr website title is

thesunshinegirl.tumblr.com

I only started this website a couple of days ago and yet,I did a google search for “sunshine girl” half expecting my website to come up as the top search.

Ofcourse, needless to say,

THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN

Instead, what came up was a website for bikini babes.

Some website where there is a bikini wearing woman posing up as “THE SUNSHINE GIRL” for the month.

Embarrassed.

My poor lil “sunshinegirl Tumblr page” full of smart words can never compete with SOFT PORN for  the top search result position on a GOOGLE SEARCH.Duh!

Why?

Coz there are a lot of sexually frustrated, lonely ,males out there seeking to lecher at bikini women more than there are people who are literate enough to understand my smart musings..That is why!

I am seriously considering changing the name of my website to something other than ‘The Sunshine Girl”

Awww, but..I AM the REAL sunshine girl…Those bikini babes are nothing before me :(((

If you are going to push me against the wall like that and make me pick, i pick option 2

I read this email and thought to myself, “Yes,finally! Option 2 is the right option for you and for me.Good choice”

Then I breathed a sigh of relief

I FEEL FREE

jhnmyr:

More cakes! It’s working!! Holiday cheer levels rising!

I love reading people’s stories telling me how much fun they had baking. It feels good to take the afternoon off to spend time with friends and family without staring at iPhones and Blackberries… really talking, laughing and enjoying moments that are actually occurring in the same room. Can you imagine?

Catching up on all of your archive blog entries and posting notes all over.:)))

You already know that “Adrienne’s wreath cake” is/was my favorite cake of the whole lot.

Elegant and pretty and all chocolateyyyy!